Yes, I lived on River Road when my previous residential situation went SNAFU because of a reptile problem and I found myself living in a motel for nearly two months.

(This bold portion will make more sense as you continue reading this column, but another way to help out the Roanoke Rapids business district is by shopping on Amazon, which will donate a portion of your total purchase to the non-profit Roanoke Avenue Business Alliance. Simply direct your browser to this link)

I'll be the first to admit I don't like reptiles and even the good folks at S&L Pet Shop know this. I would have liked the opportunity to consider buying a pot-bellied pig from them until city council find some mythical reason to deprive them of their right to sell them and my senses struck me because I'm not really a pet guy. But it's nice to have options.

This is just like the guy who found some mysterious reason to accuse me of being in some mysterious fraternity called the River Road Gang. There were no secret handshakes, no undecipherable greetings and no funny hats. It was a place to live until I could get my stuff straight.

So there! You have your mugshots, now leave me alone. Someone said that was a childish column. Put your feet in my size 12s, sometimes 13s, depending on the shoe, and see how you would feel, kind of like being accused of being a Nazi when you're so far removed from that ideology all you can do is go SMH like the kids say in text messages.

Anyway, since moving to a place which has no secret handshakes or funny hats and doesn't control the destiny of this city like the poster seems to think the non-existent secret society called the River Road Gang does, I found myself in need of new pad stuff — namely high end items like a sofa, loveseat, washer and dryer, dresser, credenza and computer desk.

Guess where I bought them — all locally and I feel better for it.

I realize Friday many folks will be hightailing it to Capital City, fighting the horrible congestion of the belt line, standing in line looking for that mythical Raleigh skyline, which like the River Road Gang doesn't exist although the Raleigh chamber tries to sell you there is one. New York City has a skyline — Raleigh has something they say is a skyline but you have to be in the right place to see it.

I tend to smugly smile when someone says they went to Raleigh and cringe when they call it Raleigh Wood. It all reminds me of the big fuss they made on Andy Griffith when one of them went to Raleigh — it's basically a wasted trip.

I also cringe when someone calls Greenville G-Vegas. Having been to G-Vegas a few times, I've never seen any signs of casinos and if it weren't for ECU and the hospital, people probably wouldn't call it G-Vegas, but would simply call it that town in Pitt County.

So as I ramble, I remember this email I got this morning from Roanoke Rapids Main Street Development Director Christina Caudle reminding me this coming Saturday is Small Business Saturday.

The email says, “During this holiday season, it is important for us to remember to shop

local. Our local business owners keep our communities growing. By choosing to spend a little with them, we are helping to spread the wealth because more than 50 percent of the money you spend stays within your local community.”

I felt like saying, “Amen, sister,” when I read this but remembered I have seen this nugget before and agree with it 100 percent, like I agree when someone else says Raleigh is nothing more than a location where the governor lives.

I saw this in action during my move — the delivery fees from Shell Furniture going to pay their deliverers and the same with the deliverers from Ryleigh's and Bill's A-1 Appliances.

I felt a smug sense of satisfaction from shopping locally, getting a nice thank you note from Shell, kind of like that smug sense of satisfaction I got knowing how wrong the poster who said I was part of the non-existent River Road Gang was and the smug sense of satisfaction I will get when city council ultimately rescinds its motion on the pot-bellied pigs when it realizes its decision has stymied a local business — maybe on that part, to be continued as they say on the TV.

This is why I believe in Small Business Saturday and believe every day should be Small Business Saturday because the more we shop locally, the more I believe we can eventually see a more vibrant business district and city.

Caudle notes most uptown and downtown shops will be open by 11 a.m. so you have plenty of time to get the notion of going to Raleigh Wood, G-Vegas or, God forbid, Rocky Mount — where they call Cook-Out the shootout — out of your head.

Instead, you can stay close by and explore the opportunities in your own city, which collectively is nestled in the Roanoke Valley and the Rockfish Capital of the World — not Raleigh Wood or G-Vegas or some other mythical overhyped place — Lance Martin