Give me money, give me food, give me Christina Hendricks, Cate Blanchett and a young and alive Rita Hayworth on a luxurious divan as they lavish me with attention and affection because I voted.

I deserve it, right? I had no other motivation to vote Thursday until you dangled the promise of gift cards in my face, until you lured me with savories from the spit.

There's nothing on the ballot that would lure me to the polls, just an unimportant sheriff's race, no biggie there, nothing really at stake, except maybe the safety of our county, but who cares? We will fall victim to the demands and wishes of gangsters and hucksters at some point and I've got fantasy football rosters to adjust. The only way you're getting me to the polls is to pay me and when you do I am sheep enough to accept your ready-marked ballot.

The county commissioners race? That was decided in the May primary so I'll just stay at home, write stupid columns and defend myself against zealots who want advertisers to strip banners from my website. I have no children, so what do I care about school merger? Pay me and I'll be sure to remember to write in the names of two candidates who didn't have the courage to face the electorate like men because Christina Hendricks, Cate Blanchett and a reanimated Rita Hayworth are going to whisper sweet nothings in my ear.

The reality of this matter is if you're that weak-willed to vote then you shouldn't be voting at all. If the promise of swimming pools and movie stars or a gift card is what it takes to make crucial decisions on the future of this county, state and country then you should be banned from being allowed to vote.

Many people think voting is a right and duty. I don't see it that way, I see as it as a privilege much like driving. You've studied the manuals, studied the laws and know the materials. To me voting should be like that, you've studied the candidates, the issues and their platforms and can make an educated decision at the polls and not be swayed by the promise of a spicy brat, a gift card to pad your personal coffers or being badgered at the polls with pre-marked ballots shoved in your face.

If that's what it takes for you to vote, then please stay home on Tuesday because you are clearly not thinking for yourself.

In Illinois, Cook County prosecutors have begun investigating a South Side alderman who admitted she made a mistake by offering rewards to her constituents if they vote in the upcoming election, no matter who they vote for.

Offers like these taint the election process and should insult our intelligence.

One of my favorite quotes, which has become one of my mantras, comes from one of my favorite TV shows — Mad Men — in which the main character Donald Draper says people want to be told what to do so badly they’ll listen to anyone. It's sad this has spilled over into what used to be, at least in my mind, a sacred election process where you went to the polls to exercise your privilege free of harassment and left without a stack of marked sample ballots destined for the trash in your pockets.

If you're that willing to bend your convictions for a shot at a gift card or a hot dog or hamburger, then maybe you should just stay at home on election day because you're one of the people Donald Draper spoke about.

As much I was would like to have Christina Hendricks, Cate Blanchett and Rita Hayworth spend an evening on a luxurious divan with me, whispering sweet nothings into my ear, the temptation is not worth compromising my beliefs. I voted Thursday and need no reward for doing so — Lance Martin