So to get a better angle of the young'uns and adults picking out their snacks I get up on the council rostrum and take a seat in Wayne Smith's chair.
My feeling is it's a public building so, yeah, I can go wherever I want.
It kind of felt good sitting in that seat and I jokingly told a couple of people I'm going to sit in one of these seats one day, although after my recent move I'm not sure what district I'd be in and who — or is that whom — I would be running against. For those of you who are new to my columns Gwyneth Paltrow and the who or whom question is a running joke and this makes the fourth time I've mentioned the lovely Gwyneth in a column.
So, yeah, there I am sitting in a council seat and I got to thinking later just what would a Lance Martin council term be like, that is once I figured out what district I'm in since moving and trying to avoid the conflict I would have right now because I couldn't sit on council and cover the meetings. The coming year is where I finally figure out how to get an assistant editor so I can finally run for city council.
The real reason I need an assistant editor is not to run for city council, but to be able to double our coverage since I have realized I have created kind of a one man beast with this website — which when I started it I figured would be popular but not as popular as it has become.
For those of you new to my columns, I tend to ramble in them, much of my rambling is done for comic effect and much of it is done because at times I can be a dolt.
So, in the very unlikely scenario where I do run for city council and win against whoever — or is that whomever — I run against, what would a Lance Martin council term be like?
I don't think my fellow council members would like me much because the first thing I would do is call for a new vote on the potbellied pig matter in which only potbellied and miniature pigs could be kept as inside pets.
Then I would seek to overturn the whole Cross Creek conditional use permit denial because those who presented evidence were no more experts at property values than I am a politician. And after my experience of trying to find a place while I wrestle with figuring out if I want to buy a house, we need nice places for people like myself and others in that situation.
Of course I would support the plans for selling the theater and let me just say I think it's highly unfair of the public to be critical of the current council and mayor who are looking to fix the situation and did not bring the original theater proposal to the table. While there are two who were sitting on council at the time, I think it's time to realize they are trying to do the best they can with what they inherited.
Obviously, I would be pro small business but, again, I would not be well-liked because I saw this great photo of the avenue in its heyday — filled with wonderful neon signs that make any avenue special. Yes, I would say bring back the giant who once was perched on Elmo Garner's and let him beckon people to the avenue. I know if I were ever to have an office on the avenue I would want to have warm neon glowing. A little kitsch never hurt anything, in fact a little kitsch brings personality and charm to a business district.
Those are just a few of the things I would do — support small business, try to fill up these empty buildings on the avenue and fight to make the old WestPoint office building a textile museum.
Just as a side note, and to inflict another jab at Donald Trump, I would not propose building a wall around anything despite what I may have said on my Facebook page and I would not mimic anyone with disabilities, especially my ink-stained brethren in the press like The Donald did.
All in all, I think having a Libertarian-minded councilman would be a good idea and let small businesses thrive, support legislation that would usher in the Striper Club — see previous columns with these links provided (Column I and Column II) — and fight to keep all the city's business, with the exception of very sensitive matters, in the public arena.
Of course, I really don't think I would run for city council right now since I'm not sure whose — or is that whom's — district I am in.
Anyway, it was fun sitting in a council chair for a few minutes as I took photos of people enjoying a nice, festive lead-in to the Christmas season — Lance Martin
