The NFL just completed another wildly exciting, wildly unpredictable regular season. As we brace ourselves for the playoffs, let's take a quick look back at some of the highlights of the season. These are my own end-of-the-year awards.
(Keith Balmer is an aspiring sports writer whose work will occasionally be featured on rrspin.com You can follow his blog — The Keith Balmer Experience — on Typepad)
The Roller Coaster Award goes to the Miami Dolphins. They had, without a doubt, the most insane season. They started the season winning their first three games. Then they lost their next four games. Then offensive lineman Johnathan Martin left the team on Halloween after an incident with teammates. Soon after, Richie Incognito was suspended for bullying Martin and the team found itself knee deep in a scandal that attracted national attention. The Dolphins responded by winning four out of their next five games. The team was 8-6 with two games to play. All they had to do was beat either the Buffalo Bills in Orchard Park, or the New York Jets at home in Miami.
They lost both games and were outscored 39-7.
The He’s The Best Coach Nobody Is Talking About Award goes to Bruce Arians of the Arizona Cardinals. How good is Arians? Last year in Indy, while Head Coach Chuck Pagano was fighting leukemia, Arians took over and led the Colts to a 9-3 record and a playoff berth. Arians was named AP Coach of the Year.
This year in Arizona, he turned a 5-11 team to a 10-6 team, including a signature win two weeks ago in Seattle. The Cardinals are easily the best team not to make the playoffs, and with Arians at the helm, their future is bright. When was the last time a coach turned around two franchises in back-to-back seasons? It’s a remarkable accomplishment.
The He’ll Get You Fired Award goes to quarterback Josh Freeman who contributed to the dismissal of two head coaches (Greg Schiano and Leslie Frazier).
Pretty sure that’s a first.
His feud with Schiano got him booted out of Tampa. The Vikings gave him $2 million to be their starting quarterback, and after one game in which he went 20 for 53 for 190 yards and an interception, he was quickly cast aside, never to be seen again.
Freeman made four starts this season. He poisoned two locker rooms. He collected a cool $10 million dollars from the Bucs and the Vikings. And oh yeah, he got two coaches fired.
The Chill Out Award goes to the fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Look, I know you guys are angry after the officials blew a call on the kick that Kansas City’s Ryan Succop missed, a call that had the officials made, would’ve likely resulted in Succop hitting that field goal and sending the Steelers into the playoffs. And I know you guys are angry at Succop for missing that 41-yard game-winning field goal.
But you know who you should really be mad at?
Your Pittsburgh Steelers. They started the season 0-4. Then they were 2-6, then they were 5-8. If you need three teams to lose on the last day of the season in order to make the playoffs, then maybe you don’t deserve to make the playoffs.
The What In The Hell Are They Doing Award goes to the Cleveland Browns. They shocked the league on Sunday night when they announced the firing of Head Coach Rob Chudzinski. On Monday management said they made a mistake in hiring Coach Chud. But my counter argument is “how do you know that you hired the wrong coach when you didn’t give him long enough to coach?”
The guy was only on the job for 352 days. He inherited Brandon Weeden as his quarterback. His running back, Trent Richardson, was traded four games into the season. This team didn’t have a chance in hell at making the playoffs.
So why fire him?
It’s a dumb move by a dumb organization. In a column this week in the Sporting News, Ross Tucker said this about the silliness going on in Cleveland:
"The reality is if you fire a coach after one season it says a lot more about your organization and its hiring process than it does about the coach himself. "
And who is at the top of Cleveland’s wish list?
Josh McDaniels.
Really?
The guy who flamed out in Denver? The guy who drafted Tim Tebow?
Really? That guy?
And here’s one amazing fact that perfectly sums up the Cleveland Browns, and perfectly explains why they are one of the worst franchises in professional sports.
Since 2004, the Browns have had six head coaches and nine GM/team presidents.
Ugh! That's pathetic!
The He Is As Good As Advertised Award goes to Chip Kelly. He was the hottest commodity on the coaching market last season. Cleveland thought they had him. But he spurned them and it seemed like he was ready to return to Oregon. But Andy Reid, who had just been relieved of his coaching duties in Philadelphia, got a hold of Kelly and convinced him to coach the Eagles.
Smart move by Reid. Chip Kelly just completed a regular season in which the Eagles went from worst in the NFC East, to first in the NFC East. Philadelphia won seven of its last eight to finish the season 10-6. They set a franchise record with 442 points scored, including scoring 30 or more points a team-record eight times. They also set a franchise record in offensive yardage (6,676 yards), passing yardage (4,406 yards), and touchdowns (53). LeSean McCoy won the first rushing title by an Eagle in 64 years. Nick Foles, who started the season as a backup to Michael Vick, threw 27 touchdown passes (with just 2 interceptions) and beat out Peyton Manning for the passer rating title, 119.2-to-115.1.
And finally, the Eagles are the healthiest team headed to the playoffs. They did not put a single player on injured reserve in the regular season. Kelly preached the value of hydration, nutrition and sleep. He instituted a weekly schedule for his "training sessions" that included practice on Tuesday, normally the players' day off, and spirited Saturday walk-through sessions to ensure that the players peaked for Sundays.
It’s all a bit unorthodox, but it worked. Big time.
The They Don’t Know How To Play Football Award goes to the Detroit Lions. This week on Rich Eisen’s podcast Charles Barkley said this about the Lions:
"The Detroit Lions would be the perfect example of a team that's got a bunch of talent that don't have no clue, any clue, how to play football."
"In the NBA I could go over a bunch of teams like that -- who have a bunch of talent but they are never going to win. But when I watch that Detroit Lions team play, I'm like 'Wow, man they got a lot of talent, but they have no idea how to play football.' And it's frustrating to watch because I'm a fan. I'm a fan. I want to see greatness. Anytime I watch sports I want to see greatness."
The Lions were 6-3, and with Jay Cutler and Aaron Rodgers out with injuries, they were in a great position to win the NFC North.
So what happened? Well, in the illustrious words of Tony Kornheiser, they "gagged like choking dogs!" They lost six out of their last seven games, thanks in large part to goofy penalties, an ungodly amount of turnovers, and a complete inability to perform in the clutch. They lost six out of their last seven games, even though they had a fourth quarter lead in each game!
Matthew Stafford threw a bunch of interceptions. Reggie Bush had a bunch of fumbles. Even the great Calvin Johnson (gasp!) had a bunch of dropped passes. It was a glorious and epic implosion, and it cost Jim Schwartz his job.
The He Is One Bad Mother Award goes to Aaron Rodgers, who came back from a broken collarbone just in time to drive a stake through the heart of the Chicago Bears. With Green Bay trailing 20-28 early in the fourth quarter of last week's win-or-go-home showdown, Rodgers led the team down the field for a touchdown.
27-28.
With 6:24 left in regulation, Rodgers marched the Pack down the field once more. He went for it on fourth-and-1 from the Packers 23.
First down.
He went for it on fourth-and-1 from the Packers 44.
First down.
And with 46 seconds left, on fourth-and-8, and with the ball on the Bears 48 yard line, Rodgers made a play that the fans of these two storied franchises will remember for decades. With Julius Peppers charging at him, Rodgers spun out of a game-ending sack, and found a streaking Randall Cobb with a perfect pass over the head of Bears safety Chris Conte.
Touchdown.
The Packers won the game and the division, and will now host a playoff game on the Frozen Tundra this weekend against the San Francisco 49ers. Meanwhile, the Bears season came to an abrupt end, and Bears fans were left wondering why the football gods allowed Rodgers to return from injury just in time to crush their spirits.
If Rodgers had not been cleared to play, the Bears would’ve faced Matt Flynn, and in all likelihood would’ve won the game. But instead, they faced the Discount Double Check Guy, and he burned them with the signature play of this NFL season.
After the game I spent a good 10 minutes trying to think of another quarterback besides Rodgers who could’ve dodged Julius Peppers, and who could have delivered a perfect strike to Randall Cobb on fourth down with 46 seconds left, on the road in enemy territory and with the season on the line.
Drew Brees? Nah.
Cam Newton? Nope.
Tony Romo? Ha!
Russell Wilson? Well … maybe.
When we football geeks go on and on about how Rodgers is the best quarterback in the league, this is why. He has the toughness, the competitive drive, the leadership, the fearlessness, and the ability to make that pass in that environment.
The Most Entertaining Day Of 2013 Award goes to Week 14 of the NFL. Week 14 will be talked about for years and years to come. On that day, this is the madness that ensued …
A 29-26 win by the Baltimore Ravens over the Minnesota Vikings, in which the lead changed a league-record six times with six touchdowns in the fourth quarter.
A 27-26 win by the New England Patriots over the Cleveland Browns in which the Pats scored two touchdowns in the final 1:01 of the game.
A 34-28 win by the Miami Dolphins over the Pittsburgh Steelers in which the Steelers almost came back to win in the game’s final seconds with the desperation drill that almost never works. After Pittsburgh’s entire offense seemed to pass the ball around as the clock’s seconds ticked away, receiver Antonio Brown came this close to a miracle touchdown - except that he barely stepped out of bounds at the Miami 13-yard line.
And in a Winter Wonderland at Lincoln Financial Field, the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Detroit Lions, 34-20. It was the first NFL game since 1957 with no points scored on kicks — there was so much snow on the field that both teams said “Eff It” and tried two-point conversions on all but one of their touchdowns.
But wait, there's more!
In Denver, during the Broncos 51-28 rout over the Tennessee Titans, kicker Matt Prater converted on a 64-yard field goal, breaking a record that had stood since 1970 and had been tied several times.
WOW! What a day!
The Oh My God These Two Teams Suck Award goes to the New York Giants and the Washington Redskins, two teams who last Sunday set back professional football at least 65 years.
The game was played in cold, rainy MetLife Stadium in front of a tiny crowd. It was easily the worst game of 2013, and me being a fan of that atrocious team in DC, I had the misfortune of watching that unwatchable game.
Among the lowlights:
Both teams combined for seven punts in the first quarter.
The Redskins finished the first half with 66 yards of total offense and two first downs.
The Redskins had the ball five times in the third quarter. Those five possessions resulted in two fumbles, an interception, and two punts.
Kirk Cousins, who the Skins were thinking of trading for a high draft pick, killed his trade value by going 19-49 for 169 yards, with zero touchdowns, two interceptions, and a lost fumble. That’s right ladies and gentlemen. HE THREW 30 INCOMPLETE PASSES!
The Giants didn't cross midfield until the fourth quarter, and thirteen of their 14 possessions lasted five or fewer plays.
Curtis Painter, playing in place of an injured Eli Manning, finished the game with a passer rating of 0.00!
Seriously! This game was the worst thing I’ve seen on TV since the series finale of Dexter!
Speaking of Washington …
The Spiderman Turn Off The Dark Award goes to the Washington Redskins. I just finished reading “Song of Spiderman." Written by Glen Berger, it's a juicy behind-the-scenes book that detailed the chaos that plagued Spiderman Turn Off The Dark, the most expensive Broadway production in history. The book had it all – infighting, backstabbing, serious injuries to cast members, a bloated budget, a near-mutiny, and ridicule from the press.
As I was reading it, it dawned on me that this troubled production is just like the Washington Redskins. In the book, everybody thought the production would be a smash hit. In DC, everybody thought the Redskins were the favorites to win the division. In the book, one of the actors who portrayed Spiderman was needlessly put in harm’s way and suffered a terrifying injury in front of a preview audience. In DC, Robert Griffith III was needlessly put in harm’s way during last year’s playoff game against Seattle and suffered a torn LCL and MCL. In the book, the production’s Tony-Award-winning director Julie Taymor was presented as someone with a raging ego who feuded with the show’s star composers (Bono and The Edge from U2), and with upper management. In DC the Super-Bowl-winning Head Coach Mike Shanahan was a coach with a raging ego who clashed with his star quarterback and the team’s owner Daniel Snyder. In the book the behind-the-scenes drama was talked about relentlessly in the New York gossip rags. In DC, the behind-the-scenes drama was talked about relentlessly on local radio and on ESPN. In the book, Julie Taymor was fired. In DC, Shanahan was fired.
The What The Hell Happened To That Guy Award goes to Eli Manning.
Seriously, what the hell happened to that guy? I know he played behind a terrible line. He didn’t have a running game. And Hakeem Nicks completely went AWOL. But this season Eli was just awful.
He lead the league in interceptions with 27. He finished with a quarterback rating of 69.4. In fact, only Geno Smith and Terrelle Pryor had quarterback ratings that were lower.
And Eli was 41st out of 43 quarterbacks in fourth quarter quarterback rating (48.6). This season Kirk Cousins and Christian Ponder were better fourth quarter quarterbacks than the guy who won two Super Bowls!
That's crazy!
The It's All Or Nothing Award goes to the league’s MVP – Peyton Manning. Peyton just completed the greatest statistical season in NFL history. Have you ever played Madden on rookie level even though you were on an All-Pro level, just so you could put up gaudy numbers? That’s what Peyton’s season looked like. 5,477 passing yards, 55 TDs –all regular season records. It's an incredible accomplishment, especially when you consider that two years ago we weren't even sure this guy could play anymore because he was coming off a career-threatening neck injury.
And yet, nobody has more pressure riding on them than Peyton Manning. The Broncos have to win the Super Bowl or this season is all for not. In 10 years fans won’t even talk about all the TD passes Manning threw during this regular season. They’re going to talk about what Manning did during the playoffs. Case in point – when people talk about the New England Patriots of 2007, they don’t talk about the record-breaking 50 touchdown passes Tom Brady threw. They talk about how that team lost in the Super Bowl to the Giants and finished 18-1.
A lot of people think that Manning is the greatest quarterback of all-time. Personally, I think he’s the greatest regular season quarterback of all-time. I’m sorry but a 9-11 career playoff record and one Super Bowl title in which you beat a Bears team led by Rex Grossman doesn’t make you the greatest quarterback of all-time. It just doesn’t. And if you go back and look at those 11 playoff losses, most of them ocurred when his teams were heavily favored. Manning has always played on high-octane, high-scoring teams. But that style of play doesn’t translate to the playoffs. You can’t beat teams in the playoffs scoring 35 points. It doesn’t work that way.
We’ll see what happens. All the records he obliterated this season is not going to leave a lasting impression if this team doesn’t win the Super Bowl.
The All They Do Is Win Award goes to the New England Patriots. This is a team that lost six of their top eight players to injury (Vince Wilfork, Rob Gronkowski), and to the criminal justice system (Aaron Hernandez). Tom Brady’s most dependable targets are the often-hurt Danny Amendola and Julian Edelman, a guy who was Brady's fifth-best receiver last year. The rest of Brady's receivers are a bunch of guys Bill Belichick found in the parking lot of a Home Depot!
They were devastated by injury, and yet they went 12-4. Let’s examine those four losses.
They lost 13-6 in a torrential downpour in Cincinnati. They lost 30-27 against the Jets, thanks in large part to that push-the-pile penalty on the Jets field goal attempt at the end of the game. They lost 24-20 on the wrongly picked-up flag in the end zone in Carolina. And they lost 24-20 to Miami, a game in which Brady had four shots to win it in the end zone.
They were this close to being 16-0!
That’s unbelievable. This is why Belichick should be Coach of the Year. The guy is the greatest, and this season might be his finest coaching job.
This is the reason I’m picking them to advance to the Super Bowl. Brady and Belichick are the most formidable duo in the AFC. They are resilient, they are battle-tested, and they are tough as hell.
And who do I think they’ll meet at MetLife Stadium on February 2nd?
The San Francisco 49ers. They’ve won six straight. They’re healthy. Colin Kaepernick is playing well. They play smash-mouth football, and their defense is great. Right now, they’re the only playoff team that’s firing on all cylinders.
49ers and Pats in the Super Bowl. If I’m right I’m going to brag to all my readers. If I’m wrong, I’m going to pretend like I never even made this prediction.
Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!